Hurt and Love
by SwetPMnkyGrl
Summary: Zevran learns new feelings and is reminded of old ones as well. Rated for violence and some lemons later.
1. Chapter 1

He had not understood. Kallian would accept his advances, even flirt back at times, but the closer he tried to get to her physically the more she shut down. He had been training her in the way of an assassin and during one particularly vigorous session she had bested him and pinned him to the ground.

" Bravo." he complemented and then watched as her eyes caught sight of his lips as he formed the word. Her smile faded and he could feel her blade slide away from his throat as her face closed the distance. She was kissing him fervently and a thrill rushed through his body. Something he hadn't felt since he was a young boy... since Rinna... since...

He turned them over and cupped a hand to her thigh, lifting to drape her leg over his hip. She stiffened and pulled away muttering apologies.

He laughed it off. " It's all that pumping blood and rising heat." he said emphasizing the words pumping and rising. She blushed, gathered her discarded blade and disappeared back towards the camp leaving Zevran flustered and slightly confused.

Many nights at camp he had regaled her with stories of growing up in a whorehouse. Her face held a sadness as he told her how he had been sold to the Crows and how they had raised him to kill or be killed, enjoy the moments that you could find joy because happiness was never permanent. Her eyes lit up as he described his homeland of Antiva and his love of leather. She had listened raptly as he told her of his Dalish mother and the beautiful gloves she had once possessed.

She told him of her early life in the Alienage, learning as a child to hide from the shems and then throw small stones at them when their backs were turned. She talked of her cousin, Shianni and her smile would often falter then and he noticed how she glossed over certain things leading to her meeting with Duncan. She explained how they had been betrayed by Loghain and the king and Duncan left to die on the battlefield while she and Alistair almost lost their lives in the tower fighting darkspawn only to be saved by Morrigan's mother. He could tell by the tone of her voice at times that she understood the meaning of a hard life.

After their journey through the Dalish lands she had pulled him aside into the forest one evening and handed him a small silky bundle. As he unwrapped it he could smell the unmistakable scent of leather. He had caught whiffs of it since they had left Haven but thought it just a trick of his homesick mind. But nothing could prepare him for what he pulled from the tiny bundle. Carefully tucked together among the folds of the raw silk lay a pair of authentic Antivan leather boots and a delicately embroidered pair of Dalish gloves, so much like the ones his mother had once owned.

He was so touched he was actually rendered speechless. She had smiled that beautiful half grin of hers, kissed him on the cheek and returned to the campfire without a word. He donned the boots immediately after the shock had worn off. They fit perfectly. The gloves he had tucked into a pouch under his belt which held only one other possession that he deemed worthy of keeping safe, a lone earring.

For the next few days he had been uncharacteristically quiet. He himself had hardly noticed until she mentioned it on the road the Arl's home in Denerim. He had been hanging back behind Sten when normally he would have been up front with the Wardens trying to eternally embarrass Alistair or fluster the swamp witch. He felt a wet nose nudge his hand and looked down to see Ohtar, her Mabari hound, walking beside him, it's eyes questioning.

" You seem different" came a murmur beside him and he looked over to see the curling tattoo that wound up her arm to her neck and ending in soft curves along her face that offset her warm brown eyes. " I guess we both noticed." she nodded towards Ohtar.

Zevran smiled slyly at her, " Coming to check on me?"

" Well Morrigan was commenting on your lack of lewd comments to her on this journey."

" By all means I would hate to disappoint. I can go up there and make up for lost time if she would like."

Kallian laughed and shook her head then she grew serious once more. " What's bothering you, Zev? You've been quiet... well quieter, since I..."

" No one has ever just given me a gift before, especially not one that meant so much." they were quiet for a moment and Zevran was urgent to break the tension. " I have been thinking about that wonderful kiss that we shared on the forest floor. In fact it has been the subject of many a dream. Very good dreams." he watched her cheeks flush as the sly smile returned to his lips. " I wonder if you might grace me with another taste of your lips or if it shall remain within the domain of my dreams only."

" Zev..."

" Ah... I see they were a ploy to get into my good graces and ravage me while my guard was down."

" Zev..."

" But you needn't bother my dear. You should know by now that I would bed you quite willingly and wantonly and all you have to do is ask."

" Zevran!" she had stopped walking and her cheeks were flushed a bright pink that crept down her neck and down below the breastplate covering her chest. " I thought they would make you happy! I just wanted to make you happy." she finished with a murmur and he sighed. She wasn't going to be distracted.

" I know, my dear. That's the problem." he stated as he turned to face her.

" I don't understand."

" I don't either." he double backed to her and tried to explain the best he could, but his brain was muddled with emotions he had never felt before. At least not this strongly. " The Crows teach us to take our pleasures where we can, when we can. Emotional attachments are pointless, happiness fleeting."

" Are you saying you have feelings for me, Zev?" her eyes held a slight trepidation underlined with what seemed like hope and it made his stomach flutter around his insides. Part of him wanted to feel more, part of him hated it.

" I..." he paused, then felt slight anger rise in him. " We're falling behind, my dear lady." he stated curtly, turning his back to her.

" Zev?"

He stopped and his fist clenched. Ohtar growled a soft warning deep in his throat.

" Let it go." Zevran ground out. " I can't think." and with that he stormed off to catch up with Sten. At least the qunari wouldn't ask him any questions that he couldn't answer.

At camp that night he had returned to his usual banter aimed mostly at Liliana and Morrigan, who was glowering at him from her tent. Kallian had watched him from across the fire, but had made no attempts to talk with him again. Later he saw Alistair sit beside her, their heads close in hushed conversation as was normal for them, only this time it made Zevran's insides burn. Liliana began a story about Andraste and Zevran watched from the shadows as Alistair's arm wrapped around Kallian's shoulder and he pulled her to lean against his chest as they listened to her tale. From where he stood across the fire, her eyes almost seemed slightly red, as if she had been crying moments ago. He had never known her to cry. Not even when her arm almost got ripped off by that ogre.

He had not understood why she wanted him, but yet pushed him away. Did not understand why he did the same. Standing in the cell at Fort Drakon, the dead guard's blood inching towards his leather boots, his dear Kallian sobbing and bruised in the corner as Leliana tried to console her, he understood and it made him feel sickness in the pit of his stomach.

After finding Anora, they had returned without her saying she had surrendered so that the others may go free. Zevran and Leliana volunteered to go back and break her out. They were the two best choices since Morrigan, Sten and Wynne had been with her when she had been captured. Alistair was too recognizable and Oghren... well Oghren was passed out drunk. Both Zevran and Leliana had training on infiltration and were the most likely to get in and out without raising suspicions. They had happened upon the lower jail in time to hear shouting coming from a cell whose door stood open. Zevran saw the guard atop flailing arms and legs. He saw her unmistakable tattoo that curved down her forearm and then he saw red. Literally. Pulling the man from her he turned him around so the man could see the face of his killer and then decapitated him with one quick slash of his blade. Zevran realized quickly that the guard had not achieved his goal and he thanked the Maker for the unease with which armor was removed, but the cries coming muffled from against the Chantry bard's robes told him she had had this experience before. It wasn't uncommon in Alienages where the humans looked down upon the elves as puppets in their nightmare theatre. Rage, concern, and something he couldn't quite explain was coursing through his veins as his eyes blinked back tears.

Now he understood everything.


	2. Chapter 2

**2**

They were set to journey to the Alienage the next day and the tension radiating off Kallian was palpable. Nothing had been said between Zevran and herself about what had happened at Fort Drakon. The look in her eyes was enough for him to know that she would speak of it when she was ready even though millions of questions had jumbled his mind since then. For now she acted as if nothing had happened and she was trying her best to join in with the regular conversations and joking that her companions had come to expect from her. But everyone knew what had happened. They didn't have to ask and no one told, but Morrigan and Wynne suspected because of the injuries they treated her for once she returned, and the men could tell by the haunted look that came over her eyes at times. It was something that was seen much too often, especially during times of war. After dinner Zevran retired to his room. He smiled, sighing with the relief of having a soft bed to sleep in. He was so relaxed he didn't notice the shadow sitting in the corner of his room until after he had taken off his shirt and it shifted. His senses peaked, but relaxed again when he smelled the familiar floral scent of Kallian's hair.

" Seems I taught you a little too well." he murmured and he heard her chuckle softly before emerging from the shadow. " To what do I owe the pleasure?"

" I wanted to talk, about the other day..." her voice trailed off. Rubbing the back of his neck he gestured to the edge of the bed and they both sat staring at the wall opposite them.

" I wanted to thank you and to say that I'm sorry."

Zevran frowned in confusion, "Sorry? For what my dear Warden?"

" I'm a Grey Warden. I kill darkspawn day in and day out. I have mastered the taint and I have nightmares on a nightly basis that would make lesser men and women want to throw themselves from the nearest cliff. I save people everyday. But in one moment I lost myself and a human was able to get the better of me and suddenly I was the one that had to be saved."

He was quiet for a long moment. " We all have something that scares us to where we can not act. If I remember correctly you were fighting him pretty good without any weapons. He was easily twice your size."

" Yes, but I..."

" Hush." Zevran's thumb came to rest over her lips, his hand cradling her cheek. She hiccuped slightly and then she was clinging to him, her lips moving over his, her body rising forward and pushing him back to the bed. That familiar feeling shot through his belly and settled in his groin and he responded hungrily to her eagerness. Turning them over, his hands roved down to her buttocks, pulling her closer to him so that he could feel the heat coming off her sex. He pulled back to remove her shirt, but one look at her face and the position that they were in and his mind flashed back to that cell. Her face held a wanting, but also a tiny bit of fear and he knew it was too soon. He could not. Pulling away from her he crossed the room picking his shirt from the floor and tugging it back over his head.

" Zev?"

He was trying to catch his breath, quell the desire that she had set fire to, before he spoke. " I think you should go back to your room, mia cara."

A choked sob escaped her throat and he heard her slide from the bed. Her footsteps echoed across the floor and then he heard the door open then slam shut. He looked down and saw that his hands were trembling and a knot was forming in his throat. He put his face in his hands to help steady them and to try to stop the tears that wanted to fall. He had almost regained his composure when a loud knock came at his door.

" Zevran, open up!"

Great. Striding to the door he flung it open and then walked back to the center of the room. Alistair stormed in slamming the door behind him.

" What in Andraste's name..." Alistair took in the elf standing before him. " How could you? It's been less than two days since..."

Zevran held up his hand and Alistair saw a look on his face that he had never seen before.

" So help me Zevran, if you did anything I'll make sure your fingers never touch anything ever again."

Zevran smiled slightly. He couldn't help himself. " Nothing happened, chantry boy. She wanted to talk."

" Talk? You two just talked?"

Zevran's eyes cut towards Alistair slightly, betraying him.

" Yeah, I didn't think so."

" It was not me, my dear man."

" You expect me to believe..."

" We talked. She kissed me. Then I told her she should go back to her room. That's all."

Alistair's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Ask her, if you do not believe me."

Alistair sighed and nodded his head finally convinced the elf was telling him the truth. He turned to leave. Zevran could not help himself. " If she says otherwise you can come back and cut off my fingers, but I'm afraid you would have to help me perform certain duties since I will be incapable. To do any less would be truly cruel and we both know that you are not a cruel man."

Alistair thought about that for a moment and then his cheeks turned red. " I... you..." the man spluttered before jerking the door open and fleeing down the hall.

Rubbing his face once more Zevran flopped onto the bed and prayed sleep would take him soon. Things were getting complicated.


	3. Chapter 3

While in the Alienage of Denerim he had learned of her journey to the Grey Wardens. She had been set to be married, but humans had arrived the day of the wedding and had taken the elven women. They were beaten and most were raped. She had killed all the humans during her escape, losing her betrothed and finding her beloved cousin a victim of the humans ultimate cruelty. When he had stated angrily that rape was for cowards she had turned coldly towards him.

" How are you so different?" she asked.

He stared, unable to respond, the question so unexpected and confusing. He had never forced anyone to his bed.

" How many of your targets had believed that allowing you into their bed would spare them their lives only to die moments after by poison or blade. You preyed on their defenselessness just as the humans preyed on ours."

Her words stung him. He had never thought of it in that way and the shame that engulfed him was almost overwhelming. Wynne had admonished Kallian as she walked off. Zevran laughed it off as he did everything, but he could tell that there was no fooling the matronly mage. No more was said between them for a week besides what was needed until after they had found where the elves were disappearing to and had dispatched of the slave traders in true bloody fashion.

Now they took their rest at the home that she had grown up in, agreeing to stay for another day so that Kallian could visit with her family before they returned to the Arl's Estate. Once the Landsmeet was finalized, there would be no going back.

It was late, but Zevran couldn't sleep as he turned over in the small bed. _" How are you so different?"_ he kept hearing her say. He thought of his life and it's many twists and turns. He thought of Wynne in the next room _" You must know that murder is wrong...joke if you must, but I believe that you regret the life that you have lived."_ He had teased her mercilessly until she refused to speak to him anymore on the subject, if only to keep himself from feeling the truth of her words.

_" You did it because you are a killer. A true Crow. We are the only one's who understand your life and the thrill you feel as you watch blood spill. You did it because I asked it of you and you would do it again and again to uphold the creed of the Crows."_ he remembered the Master Crow's words after he had returned from his first job.

He thought of Rinna and how she had pleaded with him before Taliesin had cut her throat and how he had kicked her hand away as the life left her body. The look in the Master Crow's eyes when they had returned and told of Rinna's death and the pure venom flooding his veins when he had been told that they had known all along and that one day it would be his turn. He knew then that his life was not his own. The freedom he had so dearly cherished was an illusion. He had waited. Then the bid for the job of assassinating a Grey Warden came up. He knew no one else would try for it, it was as good as suicide to try and hunt down one of their kind. He remembered the feeling of triumph he felt as he placed his bid, knowing he was going to his death, knowing he was dying on his own terms, knowing he would finally be free. The Master had no choice but to let him have it and Zevran laughed at him as he left Antiva for the last time.

But then the unthinkable happened. He had awoken to a beautiful face peering down at him. He answered her questions, then found himself offering his services. He waited for her to kill him all the while the soul behind her eyes had him wishing for life so that he could know it better. She had dressed his wounds as he spoke then she had held out her hand and helped him from the ground. She accepted his offer of help, telling him his life was his to do with as he wished once his oath was fullfilled. She offered him true freedom and he found himself wanting nothing else but to stay by her side until they had both drew their last breath.

He sighed in the darkness as he heard a slight shuffling in the living area where Kallian lay sleeping and a flicker of candlelight cast his shadow onto the wall. Zevran looked at the wall where his silhouette danced, misshapen and dark like a demon.

" _Yende_, why are you still up?" Zevran heard Kallian's father, Cyrion, ask softly.

" Bad dreams." she murmured.

There was more shuffling as Kallian sat up and her father sat next to her on the small bed.

" Your friends seem very nice. I especially like Wynne. She reminds me a little of your mother. She also has a nice _palure_."

" _Ada_!" Kallian exclaimed then laughed. " Zevran said the same thing."

" I like him too although I couldn't help but notice that things were a little strained between you two." Silence stretched between them. " He is a Crow, no? His tattoos..." he seemed to add as explanation to what Zevran guessed was Kallian's questioning gaze.

" Yes. He swore an oath to me and the Crows believe him dead. Once this is all over he will be free to live his life as he wishes. I know that is what he wishes." More silence.

" He cares for you."

" _Ada_...?"

" I've seen that look in a young man's eyes before. I know that you know it too, but you keep him at a distance."

" Zevran is a free spirit. To try and tether him... I don't think... I yelled at him the other day. Said something horrible to him. I wanted to hurt him. I think I may have pushed him away for good, all because I can't handle the anger within myself."

" We always forgive those that we love. You above all should know that."

" _Ada_..."

" Hush, _melda quen_, I know. Sometimes things happen in our lives that we never expect, good and bad. You were brought up in a place that required you to fight to survive and ultimately to kill or be killed. But you retain your humanity. You feel remorse that only a truly evil person would never feel. You are a good soul and I think that your handsome Antivan can see that."

" He's a good soul, too." Kallian murmured and Zevran's breath caught in his throat. " I guess we're all victims of our circumstances."

" Truer words could never have been spoken, _min melda_. Now, try and get some rest."

" Thank you, _Ada_."

Cyrion moved back to his room leaving the house in darkness once more.

" Would you forgive me, Ohtar?" Kallian murmured in the dark and the warhound snuffed loudly. " It's probably better this way." she whispered and settled back into her bed.

Zevran turned from the wall and peered into the dark, straining to see her outline through the doorway. His hand absently fingered the earring through the small pouch tucked beneath his belt that he never removed. Now things were getting clearer.

**Author's Note on translations:**

_Yende_: daughter

_palure_: bosom

_Ada_: father (papa)

_melda quen_: dear one

_min melda_: my dear


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer**:_ I don't own Bioware, Dragon Age or the characters within (except for my portrayal of the PC). Most of this chapter will contain conversation from actual gameplay with a few extras thrown in because I like to play with things. Yes, I like to play... especially where Zevran is concerned._

Hours later and Zevran was still wide awake. Anticipation pulsed through his veins and he eagerly awaited the sun's appearance through the windows of the tiny house. A muffled sob broke through the darkness shaking him back into awareness and he jumped from the bed and into the living area. Kallian was crying in her sleep and that meant one thing. Nightmares. Soon there would be screaming and then the whole house would be awake and surrounding her. She wouldn't want that and he took hold of her shoulder and shook her gently.

" Kallian" he said quietly but firmly and her eyes snapped open. She sat up and threw her arms around him and he held her as she cried into his chest. Once she had settled down she pulled away from him shyly and murmured an " I'm sorry."

" It's okay. I was awake anyways." She pulled her legs up and hugged them to her chest and Zevran settled back on the end of her bed. " Was it the archdemon again?"

She shook her head and he decided not to press the issue. " Those men I killed. I see their faces. Some of them begged for their lives." she whispered.

Silence stretched and Zevran gathered his courage. " There is a reason I accepted this mission in Ferelden far away from home, and it had nothing to do with any thought that I might leave the Crows. Meeting you after all was quite an accident." Her head snapped up to stare at him quizzically and he continued. " My last mission before this one, did not end well."

" What happened" she asked softly.

Zevran took a deep breath. " You must realize that until that day I was cocky and arrogant. I was the best Crow in Antiva, I believed, and I bragged of my conquests often... both as an assassin and lover." He smiled a bit and laughed when she replied.

" And how have you changed?"

" Indeed, I was often told I was insufferable, right before I ended up in bed with someone. Such is how it was. One of the Crow Masters grew tired of my boasting. My bid for an incredibly difficult mark was accepted, much to my surprise: a wealthy merchant with many guards. Taliesen agreed to be part of my team."

" That was your friend that you've mentioned before?" she asked.

" Oh, he was much more than a friend." Zevran stated and he could see her blush even in the dark. He chuckled and continued. " There was also an elven lass named Rinna. She was... a marvel. Tough, smooth, wicked. Eyes that gleamed like justice. Everything I thought I desired."

" You fell in love." Kallian stated and Zevran nodded.

" Rinna was special. I had closed off my heart, I thought, but she touched something within me. It frightened me." He let his last statement sink into her mind for a moment. " When Taliesen revealed to me that Rinna had accepted a bribe from the merchant, told him of our plan, I readily agreed that she needed to pay the price and allowed Taliesen to kill her." The silence of the background became deep and he realized that she was holding her breath, waiting for him to continue. " Rinna begged me not to. On her knees, with tears in her eyes, she told me that she loved me and had not betrayed us. I laughed in her face and said that even if that were true, I didn't care."

" But that wasn't true, was it?"

" I convinced myself it was. Taliesen cut her throat and I watched her bleed as she stared up at me. I spat on her for betraying the Crows. When Taliesen and I finally assassinated the merchant we found the true source of the information. Rinna had not betrayed us after all. I wanted to tell the Crows what we had done; our mistake. Taliesen convinced me not to. He said it would be a foolish waste. So we reported that Rinna had died in the attempt. We needn't have bothered. The Crows knew what we had done. The master who disliked me told me so to my face. He said the Crows knew and they didn't care. And one day my turn would come. He wanted to rub it in my face. That she was nothing. That I was nothing." he paused and swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. " You once asked why I wanted to leave the Crows. In truth, what I wanted was to die. What better way than to throw myself at one of the fabled Grey Wardens? And then this happened, and here I am."

" I'm so sorry, Zevran." she said and she wrapped her arms around him once more, this time to comfort.

He pulled back from her and brushed her hair from her face. " Why can you accept what I have done, but yet be unable to forgive yourself?"

She cringed slightly from him but he held more firmly to her arms. Unable to find an answer she asked him one last question. " Do you still want to die?"

" No. What I want is to begin again. Whatever it is I sought by leaving Antiva, I think I have found it."

She said nothing, but he could feel tears splash his arm. Pulling her to him he laid on the bed with her head resting on his chest. Soon he heard the steady breath of sleep and he settled back and was finally able to find rest himself.

(~)

" Ahem!" the sound startled Zevran awake and he looked up to see Wynne standing directly over his head staring at him expectantly. Putting a finger to his lips he smiled and eased Kallian from him and walked out into the morning air with Wynne hot on his heels.

" Before you get in a tizzy, my fair lady, know that nothing happened besides a bit of comfort."

" Is that what they're calling it now?" Wynne scoffed saucily and Zevran had to laugh.

" She had a nightmare, I woke her before she could start her regular bloody murder scream and she cried on my shoulder. It was very touching. But there was no touching involved beyond a handsome arm around her."

Wynne said nothing but nodded and gave him a queer look for a moment before calling Ohtar back from his morning constitution and back into the small house. Zevran stretched in the morning sun and took in a deep breath of the stink of the Alienage. He sighed. " Almost like home."

" That bad, huh?" A voice said behind him and he grinned.

" Up already, my dear Grey Warden."

She came to stand in front of him and searched his face for a moment. " It's hard to sleep for long."

" Ah, there are so many other things, pleasurable things that you could be filling those moments in the night with. I could help you." He smiled slyly feeling more like himself than he had in days. She returned his smile and sighed slightly.

" It's good to hear you back to your normal lecherous self."

He chuckled. " It's good to be back to my normal extremely seductive and irresistible self." She laughed with him, but they both became silent as his fingers stroked the hair from her face so that he could see her smiling face better. Without warning her hand came up to the back of his head and pulled him to her, their lips meeting softly. The first brush was a question, the second a plead and he answered both by pulling her to him and slipping his tongue between her lips. She eagerly allowed him entrance and he soon felt the velvety softness of her own tongue dancing in time with his. He didn't know how long they stood in the morning light, locked in each other's embrace, but all too soon there was a small sound behind him. Someone clearing their throat, and reluctantly he pulled back from her. Her eyes were still closed and her lips were swollen and moist, still slightly puckered as she waited for him to continue his oral exploration. Slowly her eyes opened with a look of disappointment, but then her cheeks became pink as she realized they were no longer alone.

" Is that how you defend against darkspawn? No wonder you signed up with the Grey Wardens, cousin. Their methods are most interesting." Shianni teased from behind Zevran. Chuckling as her face deepened into scarlet, he walked back into the house and left the two young women alone to their conversation.


	5. Chapter 5

They left the Alienage later that day and soon found themselves winding through the backstreets of Denerim. Spotting a little shop Wynne suggested they stop and stock up on a few provisions. Kallian agreed and after buying herself a new pair of gloves she left Wynne inside the shop to finish up with her purchases. Zevran watched her come out of the store front and look around the alley for him. He made a little cooing sound and her ears pricked up and she followed it into the dark corner that he was waiting in.

" Is there a reason you're lurking here like an..."

" Assassin?" he finished for her smiling.

She returned his smile and he felt her relax.

" Here." he murmured handing her the small item he held between his fingers.

" It's an earring."

He nodded. He briefly told her about how he came to possess it.

" So this means a lot to you?"

Zevran shrugged suddenly a little uncomfortable as that strange feeling took over his chest.

Ohtar suddenly growled low in his throat towards the open area behind them. Kallian hastily pressed the earring back into Zevran's hand and signaled for him to circle around to the other side to flank while she stepped out into the sunlight. Zevran made to do as she had told, but then he smelled the familiar scent of lemongrass and musk and knew who stood waiting for her before he heard the voice.

" So here is the mighty Grey Warden at long last. The Crows send their greetings once again. And where is Zevran? I don't see him with you. How very disappointing."

Zevran made to step from the shadows but an almost imperceptible signal from her stilled him.

" Zevran? Zevran who?" she lied cooly. " Was that the name of the last one of you I killed?"

Taliesen chuckled causing the hair to stand on the back of Zevran's neck. He had made the same sound before slitting Rinna's throat. " Don't bother. I know very well he travels with you. No matter. I shall just have to seek him out once we are done."

Zevran watched as Kallian slid her blades from her back and twirl them once as she smiled. " Only if you can still walk."

" Mmmm. Saucy. I like. But you should know that I didn't come alone." Taliesen replied as several more assassins stepped from the shadows behind him.

" Neither did she." Zevran piped up as he came out to stand next to her. " Here I am Taliesen. Tell me, were you sent or did you volunteer for the job?"

" Oh, ho. And he makes an appearance. I volunteered of course. When I heard that the great Zevran had gone rogue I simply had to see it for myself."

" Is that so? Well here I am in the flesh."

" You can return with me Zevran. I know why you did this and I don't blame you. It's not too late. Come back and we'll make up a story. Anyone can make a mistake."

Kallian's eyes flickered between the two men and Zevran knew she realized that would only happen if she were dead. But she said nothing and left him free to decide on his own. She should know by now that she wouldn't have to plead with him.

" My only mistake was ever thinking the Crows were my family." Zevran replied his eyes narrowing at his former lover.

" Oh, Maker! Is this about Rinna?" Taliesen rolled his eyes.

" No." Zevran answered, surprised at his own reply. " This is about me and my freedom. Real freedom. Not the lie that the Crows feed us. And real love." He glanced at Kallian and her mouth dropped open slightly. " Something I didn't think existed until it almost killed me."

" What? You've gone soft!" Taliesen exclaimed, his face flaring with anger.

" I'm sorry my old friend, but the answer is no. I'm not coming back..." Zevran drew his blades " And you should have stayed in Antiva."

Instantly everyone moved and the fight began. Kallian went straight for Taliesen, but he fell back behind the other assassins as they swarmed around her. Zevran took out a few from behind before he felt an icy blast fly past him and miss it's mark, hitting the arm of an assassin nearby and causing him to drop his sword. Zevran used both his blades to sever the man's head from his shoulders and quickly checked to make sure that Ohtar and Kallian had the rest under control, then he flipped back into the shadows, creeping up the side of the building. He jumped to the next rooftop and narrowly missed an arrow shot in his direcrtion. Dropping back to the ground he looked out to the end of the small alley and saw his target. The mage was surrounded by a glyph, but that didn't help her as Zevran snuck up behind her as she cried out an incantation and slid his blade through her back. He saw the point exit her chest and the gush of blood that was proof his aim had found her heart. She bled out in seconds and Zevran ran out into the fray again, taking out the archer that had shot at him earlier with a throwing dagger as he ran past.

He saw Ohtar laying unconcious on the ground, one front leg with the bone protruding, as he looked around frantically for Kallian and Taliesen. Soon he found them and he watched as Taliesen circled her in a familiar move. She wouldn't see that he was leaving an opening in her defense as he parried and Zevran felt his heart clench. He ducked back into the shadows and raced silently along the back of the buildings. He saw them at the end of the darkness. Taliesen had her in his arms, his blade coming up to her throat. Time slowed and Zevran felt as if the alley was growing longer the harder he ran. Taliesen took a moment to gloat and that was all the time Zevran needed to sprint up behind him, slide through the dirt and run his blades along the back of his heels as he passed. Taliesen instantly fell to the ground letting Kallian go and Zevran regained his footing and leapt back coming to land with his feet on either side of the man's chest.

" Zevran." the man moaned.

" I told you, you should have stayed in Antiva." He made several quick swipes with his blade along Taliesen's exposed skin. The other man laughed.

" Is that it? You know I'm immune to poison's Zevran."

Zevran stood silently and then watched as Taliesen's eyes widened as the first hint of pain hit him.

" What?" he was shocked, but suddenly he was gripped by severe pain and his eyes turned white.

" Darkspawn blood." Zevran murmured then walked away as Taliesen convulsed in the dirt, his mouth foaming before he screamed in pain and horror and then ceased moving at all.

Kallian reached for his hand as he walked past her and he squeezed it slightly before continuing out into the square, past Wynne who was healing Ohtar. He needed some time and Kallian let him go.


	6. Chapter 6

**Note:**_ Here be lemons as pirate Zevran will be reporting for duty. Ye have been warned (or excited)._

Zevran sat at a table in the Pearl and downed the shot he had ordered. It burned as it hit the back of his throat. Not his normal drink of choice, but the events of the day merited something strong. He sipped at his wine and felt the warmth begin to spread through his legs as the alcohol took effect. He mused at his surroundings. The irony wasn't lost to him that he sought out the comfortable setting of his childhood. Back when he had been innocent... or as innocent as you could be when your guardians sold their flesh for money every day and night. It had been a good life. The women were friendly and doted on him. They also protected him and cared for him until the day they could no longer and he was taken and sold to the Crows. But he was no longer a little boy who couldn't defend himself or those around him. He smiled as he remembered the look upon Taliesen's face as his legs gave out underneath him and he was unable to carry out his attack on Kallian. He should have remembered that Zevran liked to take out his enemies from behind just as Zevran had remembered the signs of Taliesen's favorite form of assassination. The heavy footfall of boots behind him alerted him to her presence. It was the stride. Confident, but with an air of hesitation.

" I thought I might find you here." she murmured. " Is there someplace we can talk privately? If you're ready, I mean."

He nodded and led Kallian to the room that he had rented. Her eyebrow raised as she entered and he smiled at her silent question. " Just for the night so I could have time to think. I haven't partaken in the company." She blushed as he had read her face correctly. " I really expected you sooner."

" I figured you needed some time. We made it back to the Arl's and they'll be calling for the Landsmeet soon." she paused. " How are you?"

" Taliesen is dead and I am free of the Crows. They will assume that I am dead along with Taliesen so long as I don't make my presence known to them. They will not seek me out."

" That a good thing, isn't it?"

" A very good thing. It is in fact what I had hoped for ever since you decided not to kill me" Zevran heard his words from earlier echo in his thoughts _" Real love... something I didn't believe in until it almost killed me."_ He could tell from her expression that it flashed through her mind as well. " I suppose it would be possible for me to leave now, if I wished. I could go far away, somewhere where the Crows would never find me." He paused a moment to see how his words affected her as they sank in. Her face fell slightly but she tried to recover quickly so that he wouldn't see. " I think however that I could also stay here" he murmured as he approached her slowly.

" I would like that." she replied as his hand came to slide against her cheek and around to the back of her neck. He felt her shiver slightly as his face drew closer.

" Then stay I shall. I am with you until the end. Provided you do not tire of me..."

She shook her head whispering " Never" as she closed the gap between them. Her tongue ran along his bottom lip before caressing his tongue. It was slow and languorous, but it thrilled him.

He pulled back to catch his breath. " I want you." he gasped. " I _need_ you."

She nodded and her hands came to the ties on her bodice. She was offering herself to him, to his plea and he felt his body tremble as his hands joined hers and helped her free of the garment. His shirt followed as his hands slid beneath the back of her shirt and touched her skin. She sighed as he lifted it over her head and his chest brushed her bare breasts. He held her close as he navigated them to the bed and soon the edge tapped the back of his knees. He sat down and pulled her between his legs, his mouth closing over one taut pink nipple. Kallian's fingers ran through his hair and tugged lightly pulling his head back so she could claim his lips again. Zevran grasped her to him and turned so that she tumbled back onto the bed. She giggled and panted as he smiled down at her, his eyebrow quirking up seductively in promise of things to come. Slowly peeling her breeches down he caught the side of her small clothes as well and slid them down as he came to rest between her knees. Her head came up and she leaned on her elbows, a question in her eyes, but they quickly became dark as he nibbled a path up the inside of one thigh. Gently he lifted the leg and placed it over his shoulder and then did the same to it's twin. Her eyes shined at him as his breath caressed the moistness at the juncture of her thighs. He inhaled, breathing in her scent and then his tongue darted out and began it's exploration. She was sweet, warm and surprised, but that was quickly forgotten as he found her secret places and pleasure overtook her senses. He continued to swirl around and suckle the tiny nub as he slid a finger inside. He could feel her muscles clench around him and as she shuddered, he knew she was close. Kallian's back arched and her moans silenced momentarily before a throaty groan issued forth and swelled to a cry that was music to his ears. She was still pulsing around his fingers as he slid them from her warmth and up her body. Kissing her he reveled in her breath panting on his lips. He pulled back slightly and asked a silent question with his eyes.

" Yes" she whimpered and he pulled away. Setting his belt pouch on the bedside table he divested himself of his pants and small clothes and came to rest between her legs. " Kallian" he breathed as he gently pushed into her with the tip of his hardness. His eyes closed as he glided into her and was fully surrounded. "Zev?" she whispered and he opened his eyes to see her smiling up at him. He smiled back and his lips closed over hers again as he began to move. He took her slowly, savoring the feeling of being deep inside her. He had never felt such pleasure. He felt it in the taste of her lips, the way she would gasp and grip his shoulders, her nails raking along his back and gripping his hips and pulling him to her harder. He felt it in the sigh of his name and the feeling of her swelling around him as she came closer to finding that delicious peak. Kallian clasped him tightly to her as a second release consumed her entire body and pushed him over the edge. He felt his body explode deep in his groin and spread throughout until he couldn't tell where she began and he ended. He rolled to her side and his face came to rest in the crook of her neck as aftershocks flitted through him.

" Zevran." the quiet whisper brought him back from edge of sleep and he pulled a cover over their bodies that were growing chilly in the aftermath of their love making. She wiped a thumb across the side of his cheek and he felt moisture there sliding toward his ear. He had been crying. He reached out and felt for his belt that held the pouch. He pulled the earring from it and pressed it into her hand. Her fingers curled around it and she smiled.

" I love you. Never doubt it." he whispered.

" Never." she whispered back and curled against him as they both fell into a sated sleep.


End file.
